Because God Says So!

Just another woman

After a big dinner of leftovers, two paragraphs of Murakami's "The Dancing dwarf," and two episodes of sex and the city, I am so pissed at men. What's with this Mr. Big? why are women so addicted to the pain those irresponsible, insensitive and selfish creatures give us? Are we all born masochists? I used to think I am different, and I used to scoff at those girls who are crazy about some guys. but now, I hate to admit it that I am just another woman. BUT, but but but, guys, don't get too smug over there, when we say, I love you, we mean, I love the YOU we thougth you were, it's an illusion, yes, it's an ideal version of you we make up in our mind. So, don't expect that we will be this crazy in love with you forever, when our wounds get too many to count, when the pain gets really bad, and when enough is really enough, we WILL move on. And when we look back, we will only remember that ideal version of YOU that lives in our mind, and it has nothing to do with you... ...

Lighten up

Having been fighting with myself for the past few days, what am I doing here? This is not the kind of work that I have imagined. Did I choose the wrong career? Suddenly, I lost my direction. But, God always find a way to assure me that I am okay......after another 7.5 hours of suffocation in the cubicle, I decided to take a walk in the Millennium Park. After the sun went down, the skyscrapers started to light up the sky, and right in front of me, the second tallest building of the city, the very building I am working in everyday, Aon center. Suddenly, I felt proud. Something inside of me is lit up again. I might be the smallest cog in this huge machine, but I count. No matter how mundane, routine and boring the work I have to go through everyday, I must have done something good for somebody, whoever she or he is. Someone's life becomes much easier because of the very existence of me. The world goes around because I have done my part, and that makes me happy.

fly

Pigeons and seagulls fly past my window everyday. They seem so free, whereas I am stuck here, in the forest of skyscrapers. I want to say, I wanna fly, fly away. But a voice talks back to me, you can't. You can't fly away from things anymore. There are things here you need to finish, there are people here you need to reach out to, and there are a whole lot more you are going to miss if you just fly away... ...

Anything is possible

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be."

- Shel Silverstein

Happy father's day, Dad. Can you hear it? Can you feel it? I miss you so much.

Breakfast

chicago 001, originally uploaded by saisai.

The city

Chicago is absolutely stunning, and I'm already falling in love with the city, with the busy streets swarmed with business men and women in black suits, with the thrusting skyscrapers, with the down-to-earth chicagoans. I can really get used to all these, but things I can't get used to are the chilly wind, my empty apartment, and the lonely feeling after work. Chicago, baby, I love you, but I love my California more and I miss him so, you know?

I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing
if u leave me
But I do do feel
That I do do will
Miss u much
Miss u much ... ...

Having a bad day...

A bad dream, black circled eyes, itchy hair, foggy weather, jammed freeway, a ridiculous email, flashbacks of unpleasant memories, swelling gum, same old topic of conversation... ... The day is still young and how am I suppposed to turn it around?

"It's a beautiful Monday morning, and you have a whole day ahead of you, make it a good one!" says the radio guy... ...

currently listening to: Bad day - Daniel Powter