A cure...

The moral behind one of this summer's biggest blockbusters, X-men, is do we need a cure for merely who we are while the others view as an anomaly? What we are born with is a gift from God. My face will probably be deemed too round according to others, my ankles might be too fat compared with others, but that's who I am, there is nothing wrong with me, neither does the next person born with three legs, or down syndrome, or homosexuality. We are all God's children, and he loves each single one of us dearly, because we are one of a kind, and God made us the way we are today for a purpose, a purpose beyond our fascination. So when we are tampering with the very nature of our being, think, are we striving for a better life or just digging our own grave?

Girls United

Why can't girls get along? It's complicated. Why can't we bond like guys? It's not that easy. I have said it before, I am not a feminist, but I do wish to unite the girls, bring them together not for the sake of competing against the opposite sex, but simply for our own common good, for a peaceful universe, and for a much easier life.

Today

Today, originally uploaded by saisai.

senses overload

needle prick, numb lips, blinding light, drilling and sucking sound, TV playing, nurses laughing, water spraying, blood swirling in the sink... ...
okay, I can't really talk right now, half of my mouth is asleep. First time I touch myself without feeling being touched.

I'd rather be lucky than good

Random babbling

so, Im off to chicago in about two weeks. It surely feels exciting, a new city, a new kind of life, new friends, as I look ahead, my own future is unfolding in front of me. I remembered last time I was there, walking alone in the middle of the night, among the skyscrapers, I felt so small, but not terrified at all, I guess I am really grown up now, yup, it's about time. Just the idea of moving to a place where nobody knows you excites me. Feel as if I can start all over, be a totally different person, try out new things, be a little adventurous, bolder, and be a little bad maybe? i dunno...

Just finished the movie 'match point.' it did sth to me, tho I can't really verbalize what that is exactly just yet. It gave me some ideas as of how to live my life as a woman, how to deal with men, and also again it shook my belief and faith that life does have a purpose and we are not here because of some random/blind chance. but think, without this belief and faith, without the deterrence of final justice, what a horrible place the earth will eventually become? what evil things can we possibly be capable of doing? you might be able to convince me that there is no God, and I might not be going to heaven after I die, but I know one thing for sure, that is I will be happy at my final moment if I know I have made the earth a better place and I have touched life in a good way...

You got to find what you love!!!

If you haven't read Steve Jobs' commencement speech made at Stanford, you should do it now!

Here are some excerpts if you are too lazy to read it through:
(spoiler alert!)

"... much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on..."

"If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

"... almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. "

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. "

"Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish."

there is such a lot of world to see...

indeed

walking by Haas, I was thinking, so what is the secret to happiness? somebody said it right, it's the ability to let go. if you can let go of the thing you cherish the most, then even God can do nothing to you. you think your happiness is derived from certain things or other people, then you are a fool, cuz they are all illusions.

Walking by the maxwell field, I wonder what it will feel like to be able to play soccer without your shirts on, yelling, cursing, running and sweating under the fading sun and gentle breeze, in a fine summer afternoon. must be awesome.

Climbing the stairs up to foothill, a cute couple opened the gate for me. they seem happy, I can tell from their face, tho they were not talking. then I said to God, no wonder you didn't answer my prayer, Lord, cuz I didn't even know what I want myself. now I finally know. I want, a 100% cotton, white, plain, and simple love, tho it will be bland, but I know I will be happy.

Refusing Heaven

Heaven is good, but we are so attached to this imperfect world. Without pains, agonies, worries, and tears, how are we supposed to feel the comfort, delight, satisfaction, and laughter offered by life. I don't want to wait for heaven while I can live this life to the fullest. Don't waste another second of your life waiting, loitering, go, buy a delicate journal and start to write down a list of things you want from this life and set out to achieve those dreams, live your life, so that when our final day comes, we can say to the Lord that we are so content with this life that we have lived the heaven.

"Sure, it's tough ... we're all gonna die... there are a lot of injustice in the world, but what a bargain! if you balance it out, what a balance! a lot of things I don't like, I don't like the fact that my hair is thinning, I don't like the fact that two of the women I loved died. but what a wonderful privilege to be allowed to breath, to see, to feel, to smell, to love, as baffling the swiftness of what we are allowed..."

- Jack Gilbert