Do you believe in marriage?

Recently I heard a lot of people asking this question, in Britney Spears' Reality show, in the starting over house, and in real life. It's an interesting topic, tho I don't really need to worry about it now. A lot of women do believe in marriage, fate, and a love that lasts for a lifetime, does it really exist? or is it just a fantacy? do we get our hope too high and only to be disappointed after getting married? What is marriage, why do we have to get married, and do married couples still love each other after ten or twenty years? if not, what is it that is binding them together? children? money? or responsibility? lots of questions derived from this popping in my head.

Boys and Girls

It seems as if God made us this way, boys don't understand girls, girls just don't get boys. I don't believe there is such thing called perfect couple. There are always things we girls want that the boys can not give and don't know how to give. We wait, we sigh, then we cry, but we have the pride not to ask for it; boys at the other hand, they go on, they laugh, then they confuse. Girls are selfless and boys are selfish. Girls will sacrifice a lot for the boy, but boys won't miss a game for the girl. Girls are made complicated, and boys are made simple. Girls are ultra-sensitive, yet boys are super-insensitive. Girls want huddles and kisses, yet boys only want you know what...... the list can go on and on. It's a curse that God cast upon us, I guess, and it's also the curse that creats all those dramas in love. yeah, dramas, it reminds me of my first love... it surprises me that I still hold grudges against my ex whenever I think about him, I mean after all those years. In my system, he is charged of three accounts of oblivion, and he is guilty as charged. first account, back in my freshman year, we went out to a late night concert and got back at midnight, the girls' dorm had already been locked and I had to yelled at the gatekeeper and waited for her to put her clothes on and open the gate for me. "okay, I'm gonna head back to my room now," he left me in the middle of the night just like that. Watching him running away, I wanted to yell "wait, wait with me for a while, I'm scared," but I didn't... ...second account, we were all talking in the hall about going to a party with some new friends. everybody needed to chip in, but he forgot to bring money, so I had to climb up 9 flights of stairs to get some for him. but when I came back down, everybody was gone, even him, he didn't even bother to ask everybody to wait up for me... the last one, I hated him the most for it. My dad was sick, and I told him about it via email, but never heard back from him, not a word of consolation. Sure we had our moments, but these three events are more than enough to negate them all. I'd be blind if I continue to believe that he cares about me. We ended this for good, I always tell myself whenever I miss him cuz girls need sometime to heal after breakups, but boys they just rock on like nothing happened......

Season Finale

Season Finale of Desperate Housewives: Rex died;
Season Finale of OC: Trey died;
Season Finale of Lost: missed;
Season Finale of Alias: don't care;

Season Finale of The Apprentice: Kendra Todd won;

Season Finale of America's Next Top Model: Naima won;

Season Finale of American Idol: Carrie Underwood won;

It is a time filled with tears, parting, and melancholy, and at the same time, laughter, hope and excitement about the future. What's my own little season finale? Nothing dramatic like those TV shows I certainly hope. It will just be some quality time shared with people I love before I embark on this journey that I've been waiting for so long...

words of wisdom

"A coward dies a thousand times before his death. The valiant never taste of death but once."
From William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar

"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing."

"All things come to he who waits."

"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."

"Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it."

"Bitter pills may have blessed effects."

"Even a broken clock is right twice a day."

"Faith will move mountains."

Who am I ?

What a stupid question, yet I don't have a good answer for it. It hits me when people ask about my favorite color, my favorite clothing brand, or simply my hobbies. They stump me, believe it or not, it would take me a while to retreat information from my brain. Sometimes I ask myself, do I have to have a favorite color, can I just love them all? do I have to buy clothes from one specific store, with specific brand? do I have to have hobbies, can't all the things I enjoy be my hobbies like toilet reading? Then I realize that those who ask me these kind of questions are expecting something conventional, something trendy, something Paris Hilton is wearing or using. It would be easy for me to just tell them my favorite color is pink like Katie Holmes, my favorite clothing brand is Gucci like Jennifer Aniston, and my hobbies are skydiving and world traveling. "cool," they would say, "let's hang out sometimes!" but what if I told the truth, they might not say anyting, but they would definitely think "How pathetic is that!" Yeah, this is the kind of world we are living in right now, we are too afraid to be ourself. Like a bunch of monkeys, monkey see monkey do. iPod is hot, I gotta have one. Sidekick is in right now, I have to buy one. my friend is driving a supra, I'll do anthing to get myself one. You have to keep up with the trend, follow the mass media, otherwise you are a freak. Material is driving our life. Everyday, we are acting, sometimes we don't even know which part of us is real and which part is not. our true self is dying within us, but we are too busy to stop and think of the question: who we really are... well, I don't know what to say next...

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (2)

The guy finally called, and it turned out he was indeed "very busy." After a couple of phone calls back and forth, he finally managed to squeeze me in his crazy schedule. Okay, here goes my awkward first date, actually it was more like a job interview than a date. This guy was so uptight and impersonal, from the first moment on, he's kept popping questions like what are your hobbies, do you like dog, which school do you go to, what kind of work do you do, and even very personal questions like what's your salary and what is your legal status..... give me a break! However, as a nice person that I am, politely I answered all his stupid questions. During the whole time, he seemed only interested in what he has to say, how much work he has to do, how ignorant his boss is and how many friends he has, blah, blah, blah... ... A little tip for the guys, don't complaint about your work on a date, it is a huge turnoff, we are here to have fun, not to act as a venting venue and hear all your crap. After an aimless stroll around the mall, we watched "monster-in-law," what a nice choice of film on a first date, and it sucks! (I wish I'd snuck in the room that was playing Star War) Okay, enough of him, and I think second date is out of the question, so glad I get to be the dumper this time.

Desperate Housewife

Just took the test "Which housewife are you?" and why didn't the result surprise me?

Lynette

You gave up a great job for this? No one really appreciates you, and yet you slog on, with very little sleep and very little thanks. Who blame you when you occasionally lose it? Hang in there! Just lay off the Ritalin.

Old Black Joe

My mom used to hum this song quite a lot when I was young...

Old Black Joe
(S.C. Foster, 1860)

Gone are the days when my heart was young and gay,
Gone are my friends from the cotton fields away,
Gone from the earth to a better land I know,
I hear their gentle voices calling "Old Black Joe".

I'm coming, I'm coming, for my head is bending low,
I hear their gentle voices calling "Old Black Joe".

Why do I weep, when my heart should feel no pain,
Why do I sigh that my friends come not again.
Grieving for forms now departed long ago.
I hear their gentle voices calling "Old Black Joe"

Where are the hearts once so happy and so free?
The children so dear that I held upon my knee
Gone to the shore where my soul has longed to go,
I hear their gentle voices calling "Old Black Joe"

Jane Eyre

I love the dialogues of those old b&w monvies, people don't talk this way any more...and people don't love this deep any more...

Edward:

Sometimes I have a queer feeling with regard to you, Jane. Especially when you are near me, as now. It is as if I had a string, somewhere under my left ribs tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if we should have be parted, that cord of communion will be snapped. I have a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly. As for you, you will forget me.

... ... ... ...

Jane:

Do you think I can stay here to become nothing to you? Do you think because I am poor and obscure and plain that I am soulless and heartless? I have much soul as you and fully as much heart. And if God had gifted me with wealth and beauty, I should make it as hard for you to leave me as it is now for me to leave you.

... ... ... ...

Edward:

My fixed desire was to find a woman I could love, contrast to the fury that lives here. What did I find? A Frendh dancing girl, a neapolitan countess with a taste of jewelry. Back to England, I rode in the inside of Thornfield. Someone was walking in the moonlight. A strange, little elfin like creature. It frightened my horse, then came up to me, bravely offered me help. I was to be aided by that hand. And aided I was. And then later that evening, do you remember, Jane? Say you remember. You came into that room. How shy you were. Yet readily and proudly you answered my questions. And you smiled at me. At that moment, I knew I would love you.

I will miss you...

Thursday afternoon, 3:17pm, my last final exam was just over, by last I mean "the last" I had at Mtsac, my sweet little college where I've spent so many days and nights. if it was any day other than the last, I would be racing out of the class, heading straight to my car and drive home. but today, I wanted to linger a little bit, just to look around, maybe for the last time. today's campus' unusually quiet, I sat beside the fountain, reading the comments my instructor made on my research paper, a big smiley face was drawn beside the big red 100/100, oh, call me a sentimentalist, I felt like crying... bye, mtsac, I will miss you, I will always do...

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

A friend tried to fix me up with this guy, we talked on the phone for almost an hour, it's a good conversation, but nothing afterwards, no phone calls, no email, no IMs. Even he was online, he totally ignored me, what the hell? This hurts my ego big time, who does this guy think he is? he doesn't even know me! then I tried to console myself by thinking, oh, he is too busy, he might lose my phone number (it's in his cell, dumb!), ....... then, after 3 days of waiting, I realised that he is just not that into you, deal with it, lady! it's time to move on. tho part of me still can't get over it, I want to be the dumper not the dumpee, well, I'm pissed...

See me fly

See me fly
I'm proud to fly up high
Show you the best of mine
Till the end of the time
Believe me, I can fly
I'm singing in the sky
Show you the best of mine
The heaven in the sky

Nothing can stop me
Spread my wings, so wide

- Fiona Fung "Proud of you"

pinch me plz!

I still can't believe it! Me? Berkeley? in the same sentence? I gave God all the credits for it. This whole experience only humbles me and makes me more grateful of God's work on me.