Random babbling

so, Im off to chicago in about two weeks. It surely feels exciting, a new city, a new kind of life, new friends, as I look ahead, my own future is unfolding in front of me. I remembered last time I was there, walking alone in the middle of the night, among the skyscrapers, I felt so small, but not terrified at all, I guess I am really grown up now, yup, it's about time. Just the idea of moving to a place where nobody knows you excites me. Feel as if I can start all over, be a totally different person, try out new things, be a little adventurous, bolder, and be a little bad maybe? i dunno...

Just finished the movie 'match point.' it did sth to me, tho I can't really verbalize what that is exactly just yet. It gave me some ideas as of how to live my life as a woman, how to deal with men, and also again it shook my belief and faith that life does have a purpose and we are not here because of some random/blind chance. but think, without this belief and faith, without the deterrence of final justice, what a horrible place the earth will eventually become? what evil things can we possibly be capable of doing? you might be able to convince me that there is no God, and I might not be going to heaven after I die, but I know one thing for sure, that is I will be happy at my final moment if I know I have made the earth a better place and I have touched life in a good way...