Love Story (5) - angel and devil

"Will you be my girl friend?" I was dumbfound from the other side of the table when he popped the question. "For becoming Roman Lee's girl friend, you will receive discounts on laptops, free repair of computers, complementary tutoring on economics and finance, and of course, monthly flower delivery ... ..." I still didn't know what to say, and he kept on pitching, "I know you need time to think. Before you say anything, let me tell you, I have 10 very close female friends, I wanna let you know, so there won't be any future misunderstanding ... ..." What?! How dare he? Wait, there is even more of his unscrupulous speech, "Considering we are still in college, our future is not that certain, so I don't want you to overexpect anything from this relationship. Love is about enjoying the very moment, right? You are free to leave me if you find anyone that loves you more than I do, I will be happy for you. I only tell you this because I don't want you to get hurt in the future ... ... " That moment, I felt my heart was suddenly dropped into the arctic river... ...

Same night, I had that dream again. Identical setting, we were two lovers in ancient China. He dressed like a Warrior from the Qing dynasty, and I was a royal princess. Set in the wintertime, wind was blowing as we stood on the Great Wall. But I didn't feel cold cuz I was in his arms. The same tingling sensation as he wispered into my ear, in the exactly same words, he warned me again, do not, do not ... ...

As finals drew near, we both got busy studying, the best excuse to avoid him. I've decided to break if off because I deemed it a very bad investment. Over and over again in my head, I rehearsed my Dear John speech. Grace was even convinced by me that I end this for good, but I couldn't convince my own heart, I liked him, a lot.

Finally, showdown time. "You have something to say to me?" "Yea, ... ..." "Before you say anything, come with me." He grabbed my hand. My heart melt a little... ... Bart station, subway wind was blowing fanatically. "Board the next train to SF, I will be waiting for you there at Embarcadero station." "What? How?" "If I wasn't there when you get off, you are free to do whatever you want. But, if I was there, will you promise to be my girlfriend?" It's all a game to him. He wanna play? I am all game. Train gradually came to a stop, I went into the last carriage. Door closed, I saw him waving, and in a matter of seconds, his figure blurred into streaks of light.

On the train, my body gently swayed from side to side, reminded me of the bumpy train ride to beijing I had when I was only four years old. Not much I remembered, except it's a cold winter morning. I was so concentrated on drawing birds on the foggy window, until my mom nudged me and said "Watch, saisai, it's snowing!" Wow, big pieces of snow flakes flying against the pitch dark canvas... ...

When we focus too much attention on one thing, we lose the vision of other things going on in life. I often pray to the Lord to open my eyes, widen my vision, so I can see through fallacies, illusions, and lies. But often times, we chose to follow the fairy tale instead of walking in the light of truth. As he said, there are always angel and devil talking to you at the same time, but everytime, you chose to listen to the devil.