Hi, plz leave a msg after the beep

Those wireless phone company should make the voice mail system more multichoice, by that I mean the system should be able to send different callers to our different greetings if we were unable to take the call. like this,

if your ex called: "Hi, I have only three letters for you, D-N-R!", beep...
if your mom called: "Hi, Mom, if you don't hear back from me, that means I get your msg." beep...
if your lover called: "Hi, Babe, you know I love you more than I love my wife/husband." beep...
if your wife/husband called: "Hi, Honey, I love you." beep...
and if the tax collector called: "This number is no longer in service." beep...
if the recruiter called: "Hi, you have reached the voice of XXX, I am so terribly sorry that I miss your call. blah blah blah..." beep...
if an old friend called: "Hi, it's me, whatever..." beep...