Love me to death

Last night I had a dream, in the dream, a guy was infatuated with me and pursuing me like crazy. I remembered I was constantly on the run, and he always managed to find me and hold me tight in his arms so that I wouldn't run away from him again. Tho my mind was telling me to run away, but subconciously I wanted him to be after me, I really liked it when he held me so tight that it started to hurt, is this some kind of masochism? Of all the guys I had dated, they gave up so easily when I called it off, it's like right in my face, "you are not so hot yourself, so, ciao!" sometimes, it makes me wonder. Am I too plain to have a guy fall head over heels for me? Of course, I am not a girl that really stands out from the crowd, appearance-wise, and most of the guys I dated, we were only on a first-date basis, so they didn't really know me or didn't even try to, so whatever. My point here is, it's really hard to explain what a girl really wants, we are born with complicated brains, so if there was a after life for me, I'd rather be a guy, seriously, God, please!